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Whats going on...   
07:23pm 04/03/2003
 
mood: disappointed
music: New Found Glory- Head On Collision
So today I found out that Mr. Robert May....the man I have so much respect for....truly has non for me. That hurts actually. Cause I wanted nothing more then to be his freind.......oh well....to each his own.		  
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Another day.....one less dollar   
11:36pm 03/03/2003
 
mood: full
music: AFI- Answer That and Stay Fashionable
WELL WELL!!!.......I've beeen slacking yet again!! This time I have an excuse....I've been in clveland getting my oh so amazing car ready. SOoo.......lets see.....where to begin. I definatley banged my first black chick ever. boy they weren't kiddin when they said black chicks are freak hoes........this chick had me smackin up her ass and shit...I didn't know what to do. She's all about my small white cock though. It's cool to have a fuck buddy. I'd prefer about 7 one for each day of the week. So on to the next endevor. My faggot ass little FUCK FACED STUDENTS!!! These little dick heads I coach gymnastics to...holy shit.....first one complains to his mom that i hurt his back....now today the other one wouldnt come back in to the gym cause he doesn't like me :( boo hoo. what a fucking pussy .....not to mention he's 13.....I mean holly shit. This kid back talks me and I'm not gonna take that shit.....so he bitches to his mom....then to his dad (who also coaches along side me) and his dad tried gettin in my face.....I totally put him in his place. It rocked. I as all like.......I demand respect....these kids are smart asses.......he couldn't say shit to that. DEAL!!! If you want to learn gymnastics and be strong....listen to me.......if you wanna be a big fucking pussy your whole life.......back talk me. See how far it gets you. So now I'm totally just chillin. I ate some general Tso's and it rocked my world. I'm bout to play some video games I think. LATER!!		  
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Hurting.:(   
12:13am 26/02/2003
 
mood: sore
music: Nelly Furtado - Well, Well
Well today I woke up with a MEGA SINUS INFECTION!! it sucks.......I went to class and work.......I hate work......my 23 year old faggot of a grad assistant trys tellin me what to do.........and I hate it......I know he's got shit to do......but while he sits at his desk 4 feet away from a paper......he'll constantly ask me to get it. How lame........get the fuck up yourself......takes more time to tell me to do it then it would to get it yourself... Tool bag.......anyways......tomorrow's the day I get the vega......I cant wait.....I need a break from college and the people I see everyday. It sucks after a while.....I gotta see some young high school sluts.....make me feel better.......maybe get some trim. Anyways.....Im nursin a sinus infection......yellow snot and all. sucks dick....so i"m out......hopin for a nice sleep and to awake to a snot free face. LAAAAAAATE		  
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all's fair love and war....   
01:03am 25/02/2003
 
mood: sick
music: Blink 182 - Man Overboard
Well......Today....Was totally lame. I woke up really upset at Crystal for some reason. I like to take out the fact that she doesn't like me on her. Good thing she doesn't know or I'd prolly never get a hello from her. I like to say I'm over it....but I'm not obviously. I think about her and us at least 4 times a day. It fuckin sucks. oh well. I'm gettin my fuckin awsome car this wednsday...I can't wait....I love my cars more then life itself....I always was so greatful I had awsome unique cars and didn't have to drive shitty old buicks like my freinds or there old crappy banged up gay cars.......or those fags with brand new mustangs......they suck worse then everyone....I hope ford goes bankrupt and all those fuck faces go under with their shitty engineering and all. Oh well.......nuff of my ranting. I'm chillin with some Blink 182....you never notice till you pay attention...that through all there sarcastic remarks and joking lyrics...they're almost all love songs. But anyways. School's rockin the house. I'm doin well in math finally.......2nd times the charm. I got a design final on wednsday. I just want this quarter to be done. Im takin my finals early so I can go home and work for a week before spring break...cause im spending my break with my boss......Mark Hartley...he rocks. Well.....I'm out. Done unloading.		  
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Long Journeys to bitter ends.....   
06:47pm 23/02/2003
 
mood: drained
music: Bright Eyes
Well I apologize to everyone .....I havn't been updating this in a while.. I've been really busy and..dis-heartend. But now I'm back....Things are going ok. I've been pretty busy lately. I'm gettin my sweet Car this weekend and I'll find out how bad I did on my entrance exam in a couple weeks as well. School life is going pretty well.... I'm definatly doing really well compared to quarters prior. My social life has been all gymnastics lately.....which I can't wait to get a break from to be honest. Love life........non existant........imagine that. Nice guys finish last. I'm just hoping the warm weather of spring and sunny days of driving my car will cheer me up enough and maybe help me out with findin some nice chicks I can be morally casual with. On that note.......my room is trashed and I need to finish shit up. I'll be updating more often then not now.....sorry for the long wait.		  
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Where has all the time gone   
06:52pm 11/02/2003
 
mood: aggravated
music: Earth Crisis - Paint it Black
Well it's definately been a long time since I've updated.......and I apologize since Im the first to bitch if someone else doesnt update. I've been really busy with school, design entrance exam, and partying, Everything was goin really well with me and crystal too......but now her fucking faggot ass ex is commin up today and is commin to purdue with us this weekend. I really think I'm just through. I hate feeling like im bein played....and I know for a fact that she'll come running as soon as I stop. WE'll see if I chump out and give in. I'm listening to DMX for some reason........and I'm lovin it. Anyways. My boss from gymnastics is SO cool. I've decided to spend spring break partying with him at his place cause his wife is gone all week. I've never had more fun before then this past satuday when I hung out with him. Well anyways. I'm sure there was alot more in between what I just told you.....like me and my brother jake getting into a fist fight.......and me WINNING!! AHEM! I shouldnt be proud.....but I am. Although I feel really bad and think it was fucked up. but anyways. I'm out....gymnastics practice is callin my name. laaaters		  
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blaaaaaaah   
12:17am 06/02/2003
 
mood: blah
music: Brand New- Soco Ameretto Lime
Nothing eventful in my life...........I've got ton of work to do with this design school......and I doubt I'll get in cause my drawing skills have gone to shit. Oh well.....life goes on. I'm just gonna try keepin shit real and rock n roll for a while.....being emo drains me and I'm sick of being sick and tired. Till something fun happens.......peace		  
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Busy Day   
01:30pm 03/02/2003
 
mood: hopeful
music: Beatles - Revolver
Well.........today was very busy. After such a wonderful weekend I was very scepticle about what was going to happen from here on our. After all of my classes were done I was off to Coach. THat was very fun. Then Crystal came over to study. We studied....laughed....had an amazing time for 4 hours till 2:30 am. She even gave me a few kisses.......it was really awsome. Then I talked her into eating gumby's with me even though she's on her diet. It was an awsome night......and left me wanting more but not without keeping up my gaurd. Cause we all know that the Number one fagboy is commin next friday to fuck my life up all over again. Welp......bed time. laaaaaaaaaaate!		  
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BEST WEEKEND EVER!   
08:04pm 02/02/2003
 
mood: worried
music: New Found Glory - All About Her
Where to begin!! On friday we left to go to a gymnastics meet in Miami. We arrive in one piece and me and derian had to really hold back from drinking the night before a meet. The good part starts late that night. Crystal comes in and lays in my bed with me. Derian proceeds to remove himself from my bed and sleep with Lauren. Crystal and I stayed up for a while talking. Then we cuddled for a while. She then started to caress my hands in a very sentual way. I then started to return the favor up and down her arms. She then repositioned her head. I then very casually got a tad closer making sure I was slowly breathing on her neck. Then I went in for the kiss. We kissed the most beautiful kiss I could have ever hoped for. We continued to intimately kiss for a little while. Then I held her in my arms the whole night. I had a hard time sleeping and think I only got about 2 hours of sleep cause I was so happy about what had happend. The next day was the meet. Me and derian had alot of fun. I got a 7.2 on floor which was really good for what I had in my routine. Me and derian decided to booze it up before P-bars......which was sweet cause I amazingly pulled off a pierauette and a stutz. Booze fixes all I guess. Then we all went out to dinner and then went home. Me and derian passed out and when we woke we got the girls all ready to party. I drank so fucking much it was rediculous. We played drunken jenga. It fucked me up. Then we tried finding the party. Got pulled over. I somehow got out of that drunk as fuck (I wasnt driving) And we came back to the hotel cause we couldnt find the party. The girls wanted to go to a bar. I was enraged by this (drunken rage) and I proceeded to call my Brother and Cousin who were in miami to see about goin to there party. Me and derian showed up drunker then 10 skunks. and I had two flasks filled with 151 in my pockets. the rest of the night I continued to tell everyone from Miami how gay and how much they fuckin sucked. They all agreed I think. I also pissed off everyone of my cousins roomates. WHOOPS!! Then after successfully pissing everyone off we decided to depart. Not without tellin everyone on the way home they sucked. We got back. I then recieved the information from Jen and Jessica that Crystal came back from the bar and was looking all over for me and waitin outside my hotel room for me. This made me extatic. I then crawled into bed with her for a wonderful night sleep with an angel. This whole weekend was amazing. Only bogus part is that crystals ex is comming to visit on valentines day. This definately makes me really upset since this is what happend the first time around. We got close then she dicked me for this fag bag. I hope she breaks the trend. Cause I'm sick of being sad. Till tomorrow!!

P.S. List of sweet things we did at the party...
1. Blowing 151 fire balls and lit my mouth AND hand on fire...OW
2. Asked every person if they were from Miami...upon answering yes I informed them how much they sucked.
3. TWO FLASKS FILLED WITH 151!!
4. Eating Two trays of jello shots...(bow)
5. Diz Air Guitaring
6. Me and diz continuing to inform everyone how much they truly do suck
7. Slam of the night " thats a nice sweater you got....wanna sip on a zima?"		  
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Ohhhhhh boy   
04:15pm 29/01/2003
 
mood: loved
music: The Clash - stay or should I go
Well......I've decided to update early in the day before it gets shitty. I'm sick of writing these fuckin emo entries and I'm sure everyones sick of reading them. Last night before I went to gym I was starting to really just give up on the thought of me and Crystal.....but Jen talked me out of giving up. So I went to gym and worked really hard on my routines and my moves. And surprisingly I had a good day there......crystal was being somewhat attentive to what I was doing and I felt good. So I went home.........studied a little........went to bed..........TODAY THOUGH......was amazing.....we get to class and me and crystal are having good conversations...she then proceeds to put her hand on my leg and slide it down my crotch......now I know she was kidding......but I wouldnt kid like that with someone I didnt like alot.....so that pumped me up. THEN!! we leave class and go to the bus stop and she puts her arm around mine.....I felt really special.....on top of the world. We then went our seperate ways. Then I aced a design exam and am going to ace a math exam in about 3 hours. So I figured this was a good time before I get pissed to do this entry.....plus im goin to gym tonight.....I'm pumped. Big gulps huh guys.........welp........see ya later		  
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WHERE's YOUR ANGER! WHERE'S YOUR FUCKIN RAGE!!   
01:10am 28/01/2003
 
mood: Pathetic
music: After the eulogy - Boy Sets Fire
Well......today.......what can I say....started off gettin crystal and we went to class turns out we didnt have any!......we forgot no class on monday.....it was funny how we BOTH forgot. Then we went and did some HW at the library.....I left to nap before my long day. It continued to suck and then I got home.....went to work.....it still sucked......I got home.....procrastinated like a mother fucker....played some mortal kombat....felt emo......and now here I am.....ready for bed........still feeling sucky. Welp.......till tomorrow.		  
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It all starts now   
02:52am 27/01/2003
 
mood: lonely
music: Boy sets fire - unspoken request
Well ........today..........what can I say........I think I quit drinking........after a short lived two months......I woke up today......and went back to bed and repeat that until 4:00 pm and you have most of my day. I then got out of bed for the beautiful sound of my AIM alarm telling me Crystal was on. She of course talked to me and then we parted ways. I got up and cleand a little and made some food then went to take my pictures in to get developed. Then I did alot of homework at Derians. It was weird cause Chachs gay bashing asshole ass was in there. I hate him......so so much. Then I went to practice. I thought that crystal wouldnt show but she did.....and on top of that.....she was being really wierd. LIke she went in the office with me to get me some wrist bands and she asks if I wanna have sex.......not this I see as a joke.....so I say no thanks not now......she leaves talkin bout how she got rejected for the next 10 minutes.......then she sorta had a childish playful wrestle with me....it was weird....I think I read way too much into things....I see what I wanna see......but dont we all.....lets just hope Im right for a change........this weekend is Miami so It will all come to a HUGE CLIMAX....I'm gonna drop the questions needed and hopefully she'll recieve them kindly. Oh well......I love being in love but hate not getting it in return.......lifes to short to be as emo as me.

PS. ROBERT MAY IS A BIG PUSSY AND JAY ROCKS THE HOUSE.		  
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hopes and dreams to come   
02:45am 26/01/2003
 
mood: excited
music: San Fransisco - Alkaline trio
Well it has been an eventful weekend........Last night was my birthday party..........which I dont remember much of.....but what I do I know was awsome........all my buds were there and it doesnt' get better then that.........unfortunatley the one and only Crystal couldnt be there cause she had a meet for her girls in gymnastics. But I'm looking very much foward to next weekend in Miami where Im hoping to rekindle things......I hope it works......I really miss being with her. Tonight I decided I think I may be done with my drinkin binge.......it just fucks shit up......I dunno.....we'll see. But Robert May has been keepin it mega real and so has Jay........tonight I went to a Varsity gymnastics meet which was really cool....OSU won of course.......then I went and worked out at our gym from 10 till midnight......it was awsome....Rico Came.....it was good to see him again.....he's mega pussy whipped....but girls you love do that to ya. after that I chilled with Jay and robert may and Greg liemkeuller and the girls were over but steph had a dick in her ass so they had to leave.......OH WELLL!. Well crystal comes back tomorrow.....I hope this week goes especially well and things fall into place.......till next time.		  
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Feeling better but not alright   
12:02am 23/01/2003
 
mood: worried
music: Alkaline Trio - Queen of pain
Well......Today to my dismay, started off beautifully. Crystal and I went to the bus stop and rode the bus after class to our next class. And the whole time was wonderful, laughing, smiling, the whole deal. I really felt good. But I can't speak for what her feelings are. i'm still alone so.......I'm sure she wasn't feeling it as much as I was. But nonetheless it was alot better day. I aced some math quizes......so I'm happy all in all. Still being emo but happier. I just got done making a SWEET Alkaline Trio minidisc.......I think it has everyone of there songs on it. I love minidiscs....everyone should own one. Things are getting really busy for me. I'm still holding off on my design entrance exam.....I dont know what Im scared of. I started to try drawing again today....and I've lost it all. I havnt done any art in almost two years and it shows. I'm really bumming. I need to get into this school and my abilities are the only way. Oh well. I hope tomorrow tops today cause I know my heart is wearing thin. G'night		  
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no longer knowing which end is up   
12:59am 22/01/2003
 
mood: frustrated
music: Thrusday: Jet Black New year and Matt Skiba:Good fucking bye
Well, It's been a bogus ass day for many reasons and a good day for many others. First off, I've been quite upset over this girl I'm in love with and doesn't love me back. I kept thinkin there was a chance and I finally gave up to an extent today. That automatically put me in a bad mood cause I really dont wanna give up....I just get irritated and my patience seems to be wearing thin. Waiting is never fun. So I played pissed off all day and I think it sorta worked. Today after TONS OF BULLSHIT meetings at work, I went to practice....where ( call me over reacting) but she sorta tugged at my stomach while walking by me. That automatically made me feel a little better, Then I get home and I get IM'd this statement....
Anonymous(dont want anyone knowin): you looked cute today by the way. I may be over reacting REALLY bad....but I just can't help but to think that things may still have a chance......I've just never been so "nose over tail" before.....it's so hard. So I have a song to share.....can't call it a song yet cause Robert will say it sucks....so lets call it a poem. That jay will then in turn put to song. Here it is......be nice.

Another night with my head in my hands
Face burns from the tears
Like your torch does to my heart
I remember when hapiness was all you brought me
You still do, beleive me, but now we're apart
Sometimes the world seems to dicipate as I contemplate
The love I still have for the woman I lost
Fuck that, you lost me, but I'm right here
So won't you come find me?

It's rough......but every song starts as a poem....an outlet of feeling......so these are my beginnings.....hopefully they will make it through the rigorous screening process Me and Jay set our standards REALLY HIGH...:-p
Well.....I'll prolly be up all night doing homework cause I procrastinate like an ass........then having more dreams that I finally get to kiss the girl of my dreams......and then I wake up and my shitty reality falls upon me again. Till then all.		  
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Mr.Hox and Forget me nots   
01:16pm 20/01/2003
 
mood: lonely
music: Saves the day
Today is my first LJ entry, Kinda wierd. I'm feeling pretty crappy from an amazing night with my pal Jay. I got dissed by the lady I love, got pissed at people I hate, cryed at a FRICKIN PARTY! and then me and jay fucked up some dudes world.....which was sweet. (front porch) All in all it was a great night...we came back to my place and ate then went to bed.......all day today I've been bummin around my house mostly sleeping.......I'm procrastinating like no other for my homework.....I really dont wanna do it. Guess theres a time for everything though. Until tomorrow		  
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mattskiba
 
 

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